If I ever loved you, it should be now

I am little H. I am very grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to share with you some of the process by which my soul was healed and my personality changed after I became a Christian.

 

I came to New Zealand in early January last year. Then he made his decision at the Enquan Bread of Life Church in Auckland on July 17, and was baptized here on August 14. I am a single mother. Before I did not know the Lord, I experienced a marriage that the world seemed ridiculous. From the beginning to the end, both parents were dominant. They replaced us in my previous marriage. The big things and the small things are the main thing. My ex and I are like two nursing babies. We didn't communicate our true inner thoughts separately until the divorce. Of course, this has a lot to do with our previous marriage status. My ex and I were separated from the beginning to the end, and it was his mother who really lived with me. It is conceivable that such a separated marriage between the two places prevented me and my ex-husband from reaching consensus on many things due to lack of communication. In the eyes of my ex-husband, I am a woman who is too independent and proud. In my eyes, my ex-husband is purely a Mabao who has not grown up. Faced with a "married" marital status with my mother-in-law, if there is any conflict between my mother-in-law and I, it will naturally become the fuse of our marriage. The fact is that our marriage collapsed based on the trivial conflicts between our daily life and our mother-in-law. Eventually the volcano erupted. My mother-in-law immediately caused an uproar. The two families were in the face, and the two ends of the money balance were in trouble, so we had to end with divorce. .

After the divorce, life is still unstable and full of struggles. In addition, the pressure of domestic life is very high. I have to bear the burden of raising children alone. Although I am very strong on the surface, I am very dissatisfied with the status quo in my heart, and I am deeply concerned about the future. confused. Under pressure from all quarters, I decided to take my child abroad. Thank God, even though I didn’t trust him at that time, he understood my situation. Even when the visa seemed hopeless, he still used his wonderful and powerful hands to help Moses lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Brought to New Zealand with the child. Before making the decision, due to the busyness of my studies and the deep complaints in my heart about the past life, I have been out of touch with the father of my child for about 4 months, turning a blind eye to their missed calls and messages. I also wanted to go abroad. , Finally quiet. But God is amazing. He has insight into people's hearts. He will always know what I am thinking deepest in my heart. So after I believed in the Lord and was baptized, God began to save and heal me. Touched by the Holy Spirit and with a humble heart, I wrote a letter to my ex-husband, sincerely expressing my deep apologies to him for everything that happened in the past marriage life that did not conform to the principles of biblical marriage At the same time, I also expressed my willingness to forgive him for all the harm he caused to me and my children in the past. Of course, I also confess that I am willing to be an obedient wife again to save our marriage and give the child a complete and loving home. I originally thought that this was something that conformed to God's will and that God would accomplish it. But the fact is that the ex-husband confessed that he has a new life, and the news was not first told to me by the ex-husband himself, but his current wife responded to me. When I got the news, I felt that God was joking with me, and I deeply felt that my life was fragmented. Because this is very different from what I thought before I prepared to confess. During those depressed days, God began to save and heal me through his mighty hands. I was like a patient on the operating table. God first took out the malignant tumor in my body for me, causing me pain. Endlessly, and then stitched me stitch by stitch. Pain is inevitable, but prayer is good medicine. In the constant praise and prayer, I slowly told God that I am willing to accept the facts and bless each other, and at the same time, maintain a good relationship with them for the sake of my children. When I personally said to my ex-husband to bless his new life and bless his family, I felt that I was not so painful, but was magically released and healed by God. At the same time, I also reaped the apology and blessings from my ex-husband to me and the children. Thank God, in this matter, he taught me to learn to be humble, learn to confess my sins and forgive me, so that I can reconcile with God first, then reconcile with myself, and then reconcile with those who hurt myself sincerely.I forgave my ex-husband and his family, and God forgave me accordingly. When I faced God calmly, I found that God not only healed me, but also blessed me.

I came to New Zealand to study as a graduate student majoring in early childhood education. Because I am not a registered teacher, it is not easy to find a job. After graduating in December last year, I started looking for a job. During this time, I have been praying, and Preacher Cindy has been praying for me for this. She was deeply moved by God and my job will not bear fruit until March. Before March, several seemingly high-probable jobs all failed, and I began to feel anxious and complain about God again. While I was complaining, God began to discipline me again. In the continuous prayer, I began to calm down slowly, stopped blaming him, and began to praise him, thank him for the many graces he has brought to me and my children, and tell God that I am willing to wait patiently for his arrangements and believe that he has given him What I arrange is best for me. The power of prayer is really amazing, and what God promised has not changed. The boss gave me a full-time contract of PERMANENT in mid-March, and the job was better than I thought in every aspect. Thank God, he told me to learn to be patient while waiting, to learn to still have hope for him, and to believe that his promise will have a time. But what he bestows is double, not only the supply of reality, but also the growth of the spirit.

In less than a year, I experienced many things about God, and I have been in the process of experiencing them all the time. The old, proud and impatient old me slowly withdrew from me. With God’s step-by-step leadership, I also slowly began to learn to be truly quiet before God, praying honestly in my heart, and no longer come from my own flesh and blood. . When I really put down myself, looked at God only, and prayed quietly before him, I found that God responded to me with a surprisingly calm and steady state, allowing me to stay high. He made me understand: No matter what happens in my life, even if the fig tree doesn't flourish, the olive tree doesn't work, and the vine doesn't bear fruit, I still rejoice in the Lord and the God who saves me! When I am weak, he will be there waiting for me. As long as I call out to him and pray to him, he will give me something unexpected, either strength or peace. In Christ Jesus, I know that I still have a lot to learn and grow, but after experiencing so much, there is a true and living God in my heart. I am willing to change from the heart, continue to renew, and become a new creation. people. At the same time, I am willing to work harder to serve God and experience him more, witness him, and glorify him in the process of serving.

If you have been hesitating whether you should believe in this God, when should you come to know this true God, I want to say: If I ever loved you, it should be now!

May God's love and grace accompany you and protect the joy and peace of all brothers and sisters!