How beautiful it is to live in harmony

A few years ago, because the marriage was not harmonious and there was no sense of happiness, I walked into the weekend meeting of the church group in extreme helplessness, and felt great comfort and the unconditional love from God among brothers and sisters. From then on, I decided to be baptized and became an active participant in Sunday and group meetings. I loved reading various spiritual books. But after a few years, I found that I had not improved my marital status, which means that my faith did not bring about a change in my life. It wasn't until the beginning of this year that I realized that I had always expected the change of the other party to meet my wishes, instead of admitting my sins and starting with changing myself to improve the family relationship. "The wise woman builds the family; the foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." (Proverbs 14:1)

When I calmed down and examined my own interior, the Holy Spirit illuminated me to see my incompleteness, and I began to confess to the Lord for the pride and disobedience within. "Pride precedes corruption, and madness precedes it." (Proverbs 18:12) I have always felt that I have done no worse than him in many aspects. I am very strong at home and did not follow the Lord’s words to let him be the home. The predecessors have to make their own decisions inside and out, which leads to a tight relationship between husband and wife. The Lord’s teaching is for me to be a glorious helper, but because of my proud sinful nature, I want to be the head of my own and not obey the head of the family. "God blocks the proud and gives grace to the humble." Now I often remind myself to swallow pride, take the initiative to admit my mistakes and reconcile, instead of always holding my head in a stalemate or holding it high above.

I also confessed my sins to the Lord for my unforgiveness. "Be kind to each other, be compassionate, and forgive each other, just as God forgave you in Christ." (Ephesians 4:32) I never forget the harm he has done to me in the past, and I often turn over old accounts and complain. And complaining, the bitterness accumulates because of too much care, negative emotions dominate and spread, and the family atmosphere is gloomy, because I always feel that he has wronged me too much, because he is wrong. Not forgiving is really harmful to others, and not forgiving steals the joy in my heart. I have been sad and depressed for a long time. Forgiveness is a choice. Forgiveness is to release oneself so as not to fall into negative emotions. "You have forgiven people's transgressions, and your heavenly Father will also forgive your transgressions." Mainly we forgive people seven and seventy-seven times, not to mention the person closest to us.

I also confessed my sin to the Lord for the harsh words when I was angry. "Answer softly, so that the anger subsides." (Proverbs 15:1) I failed to follow the Lord's words, and I often use words to hurt people instead of strangling my tongue when I am angry. "One sentence is appropriate, like a golden apple falling into a silver net." Now I am very alert to what I say every day, whether it is appropriate to make people or to add fuel to the fire to make the situation worse. There is also the tone and attitude when speaking, whether it is a gentle and humble persuasion, or it is unreasonable to force people to the corner without leaving room. When I am angry, I will listen to hymns until I have comfort and strength. If you lose your anger, your family will be at peace. In the past, my family was caught in a vicious circle that suddenly broke out after the long Cold War.

The church's discussion about the influence of the original family on marriage has benefited me a lot. I realized that my rigid personality and strong paranoia came from the influence of my original family, and this influence has been imperceptible and silent for a long time. I didn’t know it before, but now I will consciously differentiate myself from the interaction mode of my original parents. Especially the impact of my mother living with me is that I will copy the interaction mode between her and my father without knowing it. Unconsciously inherited her emotional traits and personality characteristics. I am also soberly aware that we are also the native families of our children, and ask the Lord to help me and my husband be wise parents instead of just focusing on the children’s progress in knowledge and skills. I also realize that the way my husband treats me is also affected by his native family. I don't think that the hurt in the heart is not necessarily due to his intention. As Jesus said at the most painful time on the cross: “Father, forgive them, because they don’t know what they do.”

When I changed myself, I found that my life had turned around, my life was no longer bleak, and the family atmosphere was a lot easier. The expressions of adults and children became more cheerful. My old self would come back from time to time, and only look to Jesus to keep getting off. I am old and I am a new creation in Christ. I pray that the Lord will have mercy on my imperfections and be kind to tolerate the imperfections of the other person. Pray for forgiveness of my sins, sins committed by my tongue, and self-righteousness. The sin of self-centeredness gives me wisdom to build my family with the love of Christ Jesus, bear the fruit of love, and do things that please the Lord. "Blessed are those who make peace," (Matthew 5:9) "If it is possible, we must always try our best to be in harmony with everyone." Only when the family is in harmony can we have real joy in our hearts. "How beautiful and kind it is for brothers to live together in harmony." The wife should be the messenger of the family, shouldering the responsibility of family relations and harmony, so that the next generation will be blessed by the safe and stable parental relationship. Thank the Lord for turning my life over, and may the spirit of harmony and joy stay in my home.